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  THE FAMILY AND WHAT ROLE SHOULD THEY PLAY IN YOUR LIFE
By NayNay2124

Throughout history we have all seen images of what a good family looks like.  The question is, are those images realistic?  Sometimes we see other families that seem to have all of the elements of a good family, and wonder to ourselves why can't our family be like that?  We then begin to place blame on others for the reason that our families are not what they should be.  The real question is how important is family to you?  Do you love and respect your family members?  Do you take more from your family than you give?  Do you take responsibility for your role in some of the turmoil in your family?  Is there something more you can do to show that you are committed to bringing the family together?

I believe that we all want and need to be accepted and respected by our families.  When this doesn't happen we sometimes become angry, frustrated, depressed, defensive or withdrawn. Any one of these emotions can inevitably harm our physical and emotional health.  This is why it is important to determine what role family should play in your life.  Although family is an important part of our lives, they shouldn't consume our lives. We all have our own individual lives to live, and we should all try to help family members when it is possible, but not if it will be a detriment to you and your individual family. I don't think this is being selfish because you have an obligation to your own individual families first and foremost.  Family members should respect and understand this and not put you in the position to have to choose between their immediate families and their extended families. At this time in most of our lives, life has gotten a lot harder with the recession, layoffs, the dismal housing market and so many different things going on that is making life much more difficult to navigate. That is why people are focusing more on their immediate families because there isn't the extra cushion to extend help to others outside of their immediate family. The point here is that you shouldn't take it personal. It is just a sign of the times. Your family still loves you, but everyone is in survival mode right now.  

What I think is needed to build stronger family bonds is better communication. We sometimes assume that someone understands what is going in our lives, and they actually have no idea what you are going through or how you are feeling. I think it is so important to keep the lines of communication open between family members.  This will avoid longstanding feuds and resentments. The worse thing you can do is avoid confronting issues that arise. Even after you have tried to resolve an issue, there still may not be a resolution, but at least both sides were able to express their opinions and everyone knows where they stand. Maybe in time, the issue will work itself out or you can still continue to build that relationship in spite of the disagreement. 

The bottom line here is that we love our families very much and we want the best for them, but we can't overextend ourselves and put our own lives on hold for the sake of our families. Our families need to understand that we are all trying to navigate our way through life and sometimes it comes down to the choices, we as individuals make in our lives. When you make certain choices in your life, those choices come with consequences, and you and only you have the obligation to deal with those consequences. You have no right to believe that anyone else is responsible for the choices that you made in your life. Take responsibility for the choices you have made in your life, and work on changing those choices that left you in the position you are in.  This is not your family's responsibility. It is yours.

                                                                                  
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